White Americans -- particularly those of us who are or who grew up working class and poor -- are very often fatalists.
Saturday, April 10, 2021
The Fatal Flaw of Fatalism
Sunday, March 14, 2021
All We Leave Behind
Evert Hjalmer Nelson, my dad, at left with his mother Signe in 1959 as she was about to set sail for a visit home from the U.S. to her native Sweden. |
We were prepping for a March 3 public presentation in Portland Ovations' Seeking Resonance Series -- Toward Being Future Beings, a preview of an ongoing commissioned work with Yu'pik creator Emily Johnson.
I was honored to be in the room.
We were talking about home. About our connections to place and people and ancestors. About culture and what we create from these connections.
Jason Brown, a self-professed "hyper creative" of Maine's Penobscot Nation, was among us. Jason began talking about how he was teased in school for being a "half breed" because his father was Swedish and his mother Penobscot.
As importantly, he was talking about how he knew nothing about the Swedish side of his family. They had sailed for America and left it all behind them: the language, the culture, the stories, the families along with the land.
I might be 100% French-Canadian in my genes, but my adopted family was second gen from Bohemia on my mother's side and first gen Swedish on my father's side. Similarly to the Swedish side of Jason's family, our people had left their old lives and seemingly their old selves behind with little trace when they immigrated to the States.
It's a lot to leave behind: those gifts of belonging to place and culture and the people who came before.
And as a result, White America tends to be a very disconnected culture. And in our disconnections, we have done a lot of damage -- especially to the land, but also to each other.
I was lucky growing up. Signe did keep returning for visits to Sweden. She spoke Swedish with the Swedish community in New Britain, CT, and made us Swedish foods for the holidays. Sometimes Swedish cousins would appear in CT on vacation. And when I was 13 she took me to Sweden with her for a month.
This all sounds like a lot and it was definitely something. But my dad never once went to Sweden. None of the rest of my family ever did. He did not speak the language, and as my grandmother aged we saw less and less of the Swedish cousins. I never connected with them as adults and their names and addresses are lost to me. My connections to the people who came before me are not strong, and I've noticed that is baked into White American culture. Our people were leaving behind where they came from, and when they arrived here, in order to benefit from the privileges of joining "White America," they conscientiously erased their differences.
Looking back, I see the moment when I was a teenager and became aware of this. In the 1970's, Puerto Rican immigration to New Britain boomed and new arrivals quadrupled the existing population. My father -- who no longer lived in the industrial city in central CT in which he was born -- began complaining about them. He was predominantly angry that they insisted on speaking Spanish, and often cited Signe's experience -- of arriving in the U.S. and attending night school to learn English.
Like many white western European immigrants, Signe valued assimilation. The new Puerto Rican population valued sustaining their native cultures: they brought their home with them to the mainland U.S.
We all leave things behind. Yet the history of native genocide, enslavement of Africans, and domination resulting from white immigration is a tragic result of our displacement from our own native cultures, places, and peoples. We're disconnected. We've forgotten our "we" to fiercely hold onto our "I's." In so doing, much of value has been lost to us forever -- including the humility that arises when one gives credit to those who came before.
Saturday, February 20, 2021
Meatloaf and the Common Good
This is the Pyrex bowl in which my mother always made meatloaf.
And yes, being overseen by the Shawnee Pottery mid-20th century vintage pig bank and cookie jar in which she never kept cookies. Or coins.
I still make meatloaf in this sturdy old bowl, the same way she did: for every pound of ground meat (hamburger only in Mom's house) add 1 egg, ketchup and Worcester Sauce and salt and pepper to taste, packaged Italian bread crumbs, and enough milk to bind it all together. Set the loaf on 3 strips of bacon and put 3 more on top.
For some reason, making meatloaf for a family had me thinking about the cultural values that must be top of all our minds since the election, then January 6, then January 20.
The other overseer of both my mother's and my Gram's kitchens were magazine photos of JFK taped to the walls.
It was important to them to have a Catholic President -- not because he was a member of the same institution as they, but rather because they shared his values.
They believed in asking "not what your country can do for you -- ask what you can do for your country."
I suppose it sounds terribly old-fashioned and simplistic to call up this old warhorse, but I'm grateful that our new President Joe Biden and VP Kamala Harris are asking the same thing.
They're focused on how to help working folks rather than put more dollars into the hands of Big Business and the 1%. They're focused on ending the pandemic: on track to get more than 1 million doses of vaccine not just manufactured but into people's arms by March. They're focused on rebuilding our nation's sorry infrastructure -- think Texas in an ice storm -- because our roads and power and internet and communications are what regular people like you and me rely on to survive and to thrive.
And maybe because we too often don't share a common belief in the goodness of this universe, in which we are so small, and thus in the power of our communities -- I just don't get Republicans. Their very transparent selfishness and lust for power and control boggle my mind. I don't want to believe in it. I don't understand those who support it. I don't want you to believe in it, either.
In the faith in which my mother raised me, there was no room for living a life based on anger and resentment. We didn't have much, but what we did have -- family, a roof over our heads, meatloaf -- was a gift and a blessing not to be ignored.
My mother had multiple, painful, ineffective eye surgeries before she was 10 years old. She had a full hysterectomy at 17, in 1941. She couldn't have children. She married a man who was legally deaf.
Together, they adopted first me and then my brother. They built a home on land given them by my Gram and on my father's machinist salary. By the time I was 11 years old, we were ALL working 12 hour days on a gravel pit-turned-campground my dad had envisioned and was managing, and on which we were living.
My parents were deeply grateful. They had had plenty of experiences that could have led them to live lives of anger and resentment -- and they chose not to.
This is just one of the many wonderful articles of faith which they passed along to me. I am grateful, too.
#pyrex
#meatloaf
#commongood
#jfk
#growingupinCT
Tuesday, January 26, 2021
Maine Legislative Breakfast 2021: The Impact of Our Cultural Sector
Below are comments I delivered to a Maine legislative breakfast hosted by the Maine
Association of Nonprofits on Friday, January 22, 2021. By posting them here I am able to include links to underlying statistics, research, and resources for your reference. Questions? Need additional info? Please don't hesitate to be in touch with me at lindanelso@gmail.com.
Good morning. Thanks again to you all for being here -- we're all grateful for your interest in and attention to the vital work nonprofits play in Maine, as well as to the impacts the pandemic has had on our work and priorities.
Saturday, January 23, 2021
The Holiday Card List Revived for MLK Day
Mine kept hers in a couple of places as time went on, but they started out very neatly on index cards in a little box. Everyone had an index card, and everyone had the many, many years marked on the card on which she had shipped off a holiday card to them.
I decided to copy this tactic. It being 2021, I loaded my list of recipients into a Google Doc in Google Drive and decided to send cards in honor of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day and our perpetual quest to become a nation that lives up to the ideals in our own Declaration of Independence and Constitution.
It's been a long quest and it's not over yet.
Meanwhile, I keep my mother's box next to the Grauman's Chinese Theatre, Hollywood, CA salt n' pepper shakers I recovered from my grandmother's stash when I was cleaning out my mother's house in 2014 (see previous post).
Actually, I'm not sure they're a pair. Not sure what the rabbit is doing there or where it came from. But I imagine it on its way through the hot desert (I mean, its ears are drooping) trying to find its way to Hollywood to get its paw prints in the famous sidewalk.
My mother's oldest brother, Richie, and his wife, Jody, never had kids. So they made a plan to take all four of us nieces and nephews on a roundtrip road trip to California when we turned 12. It was held out before us our entire lives, something to look forward to despite the fact that cars back then did not have air conditioning and by the time we would reach Needles, CA it would be 111 degrees in the shade.
They road tested the trip on my grandmother, Richie's mother, Mary, in the late 1950s/early 1960s. I wish any of them were alive now to talk about that trip. My grandmother was a big woman, six feet tall and over 200 pounds. What kind of car did they travel in? I know she -- a huge enthusiast for life with a loud voice and endless generosity and maybe a touch of manic-depression -- loved the trip and brought back boat loads of souvenirs -- pieces of the Painted Desert, cedar toothpick holders from Crater Lake, etc. in addition to the salt and pepper shakers -- so how did they fit all of this into the vehicle?! It had to be larger than the one in which we journeyed in 1973, a blue, four door Mercury Comet circa 1971.
The first of the kids to go was my cousin Walter in 1965. My cousin Cindy must have been on the trip in 1969. Looking back at the sometimes violent civic unrest of that era during the height of the Civil Rights movement and the Vietnam War, a time in which the nation sustained the political assassinations of four progressive leaders, I am wondering what both those trips were like. Did they follow the news? Did they circumvent certain cities?
Luckily my cousins are still well and with us, and I can find out. Luckily we've elected a new administration in Washington that is respectful of Dr. King's legacy, the Black Lives Matter movement, and our ongoing work for equity for all. Stay tuned.